HOW TO BE AN AOL BABE 101
Section 1: Getting Started
1. Pick a screenname that will show the world that you are obviously hot,
sexy and on the prowl. Keywords to remember here are Hot, Sexy, Wild, Sinful,
Wet, Babe...always end the screenname with 4u...example HotBabe4u if that is
taken you can also a a 2c...such as HotBabe4u2c
(note:only add the 2c if you have a good set of fake pictures already)
2. Make a profile suitable to you.
-Using member names that end in "i" are always cute, like Suzi, Brandi, or
something really cutsey like Kissi.
-Pick a location that is so far away no one would want to meet, like say,
Canada or Fiji or at least a small unpopulated city in the middle of the desert
southwest.
-Marital status single.
(note: If you are married and don't want your spouse seeing the single part
put in something vague and cute like "Are you asking?" and follow it with the
complimentary (giggle).
-Hobbies: Use any sexual references that come to mind. Example "Teasing and
Pleasing", "Being an oral genius" or just plain old "sex". Also be sure to add
"I DO NOT CYBER" (we all know this is not true but at least it will give you
the illusion of being hard to get)
-Under the Computers section put "Who Cares" it makes you seem so aloof and
above AOL.
-Occupation:This is a VERY important category, you want to choose an
occupation, that makes you seem sexy, but very intelligent too. Something like a model
with a PhD or at least a masters degree in business. Or a stripper who is
also a Harvard Med School student. The latter is perfect because it not only
shows you as being sexually uninhibited but also smart and young.
-Quote:Use your imagination, try something that either shows your depth or
how sexy you really are. For those of you who have no imagination, sexuality or
depth, try one of these..."Dance like no one is watching." Or "Dont hate me
because I am beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am."
3.Finding a personal picture. This is probably the most difficult and
dangerous of the steps. It is imperative you find the right one. Many people make the
classic mistake of going to a well known site like Playboy.com or
Penthouse.com. DO NOT DO THIS. These sites have far too many subscribers and you may be
recognized. Try something more obscure like www.wetcybersluts.com. The key is
to get more than pic of the same model. If you cant get more than one pic, surf
around and find 2 that look similar and then use your graphic art studio to
blur one of them enough to make the face hard to see. You can also take the
same pic, crop it and flip it over to make it appear to be different. Make sure
the model is young and very hot. If you can not find an adequate pic right
away, dont worry, we will address this in section 2.
Section 2: Working the Rooms
1. Immediately upon entering a room give your personal information
(24/F/Blonde). This will let the other chatters know you are open for business.
2.When chatting Limit your lines to one or two words so that you name will
always be in view. Every 3rd or 4th line, toss in a <giggle>. Giggling makes men
think you are cute.
3.If you want a REALLY big response. Add that you are bisexual. This is
IMPERATIVE for men using a woman's name, but works for ugly women pretending to be
hot too.
4.Talk endlessly about how hot you are, how big your boobs are and how much
you love sex. Since most men on AOL are older, it's a good point to add how
much you LOVE older men. Whenever possible talk about specific sexual techniques,
like your ability to put your legs behind your ears or how you can swallow a
whole banana. Also be sure to express how much you like anal and giving oral.
5. Pass out the pictures liberally. But if you dont have any yet, simply say
"I dont have a scanner" or "It's on my other computer". Be sure to reiterate
how hot you are and describe your hot self in detail. Promise to send your
picture later and tell them it is worth the wait.
6.Your fonts should always be bold and in pink or something cute like that,
be sure to use a lot of happy faces and lol a lot whenever a male says
something even remotely droll or funny.
7.Once you start these techniques it only makes sense that you will have more
than your fair share of attention (which is the plan). Should a female enter
the room and begin to take that attention away, try one of these easy
phrases..."I love being naked" or "You guys in here are all so sexy, I am all hot
right now" or "Do you know how hard it is to find a 32DDD bra?" This should take
the attention right back too you. As you practice, finding the right phrases
will become easier. Beware though, it is just possible that the woman who has
entered has a hotter fake picture than you or more practice, if this is the case
you must yield attention to her out of professional courtesy.
Section 3: Rules to live by
1. Once people are starting to catch on that you may not be 100% real it's
time to move on and find a new chat.
2. Never offer to meet anyone or accept offers, if you somehow get youself in
a corner. Just tell the person that you suddenly have an incurable disease
and have to leave the country.
3.If someone recognizes your pic as one they have seen before or of a famous
model. DONT PANIC. When faking out AOLers, coolness is the key. Tell them that
you were hoping no one would recognize you online, and go with it.
4. If the worst case scenerio happens and you by chance get found out. No
worries, simply delete your screenname and start over with Section 1 and a new
name.
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Music (tune in) 
Subject: My Latest Email 
Mon May 07, 2007 9:33 am
